Freedom – How to Celebrate during Seasons of Restriction

Happy Independence Day, or Alternate-Freedom-Holiday if you’re annoyed with America right now. Are you feeling like me – how is it summer already?  Well, it’s here, whether we’re ready or not, me – definitely not!  I mean, I just booked our annual July cross country trip home to visit my parents and paid an exorbitant amount for our flights with the worst route ever.  I will need all the yoga available to survive 2 red eye flights from LAX with my kids.  Pray for me. 

Different Forms of Freedom

Joking aside, as I was reflecting on Summertime, and Independence Day, and the recent Supreme Court news, the word Freedom came to mind.  And before you jump to your sarcastic comment, “Real Original, Leila,” read on and give me a chance.  Yes, you, I know who you are. That’s okay, it’s why we’re friends.

I’ve been watching people celebrate freedom in such unique ways over the past few months.  (Some) Americans will honor their Freedom as a Nation, the LGBTQ community rejoiced during Pride month and freedom to express their sexuality, and the graduating students are free from school for the moment and reveling in their summer break.  

On the flipside, millions of people just lost their freedom last month – the Freedom of Choice with the overturning of Roe Vs Wade.  How about you?  Are you feeling free lately?  Or are you feeling restricted?  Today I’ll share some of my reflections on how to experience freedom regardless of your life stage or circumstances.  And I’ll unpack another concept of Yoga called Brahmacharya, which can be translated from Sanskrit as Moderation or Freedom from Excess.  

To be honest, I am still basking in the simple Freedom – To Go Out in Public.  Remember the Pandemic, anyone?  I feel like everyone is so eager to sweep it under the rug and move on.  I will be the first to admit that I had a HARD time, emotionally, during this atrocious period, but I learned a few things and I cannot bring myself to regret it.  Not that I could have changed anything, except my in-the-moment perspective.  But looking back, I’m thankful for this uninvited opportunity for improvement.  Let me explain…

Experiencing Freedom through Gratitude

Example: I got a massage last week and I did not take it for granted.  I have chronic neck pain and have combated the tension by practicing a lot of Yoga, and getting massages monthly. For over 15 years!  That is, until 2020, when California mandated that all places of business offering massages be closed.  And then I stopped, cold turkey.  Luckily, my pain was manageable but you better believe I booked one the day they opened back up!  Now, I am grateful to able to physically walk in to a place of business and purchase my service, as opposed to assuming it was, I don’t know, a civil right available to all humans.  I take joy in the experience, the gift of being touched and healed by a stranger as something to be savored.   

I believe Gratitude can offer us Freedom.  Here’s a quote that strengthens that belief:

“Gratitude unleashes the freedom to live content in the moment, rather than being anxious about the future or regretting the past.”

Nancy leigh demoss, author and radio host

Do you remember a favorite place or activity that was closed during the Pandemic?  Can you go there today and use that experience as a reminder to experience gratitude?

Seasons of Freedom and Restriction

The Pandemic was a period of time when society was placed under restriction.  We were not Free to go to the places we wanted to.  Say what you want about the end of the Coronavirus or the ongoing Endemic, or the whos and whys, but the simple fact is that this restriction was not the first and it will not be the last.  We were not Free then, and there are/will be times when we will not be Free in the future, regardless of the politics. 

For example, there are (frequent) times that my kids are sick, and I am not ‘free’ to take them to school.  My life is disrupted, I have to call in sick to work, stay home to care for them, cancel their swim lesson, etcetera.  Don’t have kids? Sorry, you’re not in the clear. Recently, my mother fell and broke her hip and I had to put my life on hold temporarily to care for her.  We will all experience Seasons of Freedom and Seasons of Restriction.  Can we come to terms with this concept, then hone our abilities to celebrate and cope accordingly? 

Freedom of Choice and Freedom to Use Your Voice

How about another example.  One that is less palatable to discuss, and will probably alienate someone.  Millions of people just lost their freedom last month – the Freedom of Choice with the overturning of Roe Vs Wade.  I was/am astonished in the decisions of our leadership.  Personally, I have made thousands of bad decisions in my life.  And afterward, I have always been given the opportunity to rise above them.  Whether or not I’ve risen to the occasion is another story, but right now, my mind and heart goes to the women, GIRLS, in the future who may make a poor choice.  A specific poor choice, she can no longer undo, because the government is now in control of her body.  Hopefully this too is a just a season of restriction and women across America will recover the freedom of their bodies soon. 

Maybe, if you feel so called, one way to exercise freedom – your Freedom of Speech, (thank you America, even though I’m mad at you now) is to raise your voice, or support a movement.  Here is a site that offers options:  

Physical Freedom

For me, I experience Physical Freedom through my body when I take time to exercise.  Even though it’s hard to find the energy nowadays, I always feel better after a run. There’s no equal to the feeling of the wind on my face and the strength of my legs.  I now take joy in watching my kids run.  The release is palpable when the car doors are opened and the kids emerge gleefully, racing each other toward the playground.  Fun fact – watching someone else have fun will release your endorphins and allow You to feel that excitement too.  I try to remember this when it’s 8:30 am on a Saturday and I’m driving the kids to a playground (again). 

The second way I free my body, not to mention my mind and soul, is through Yoga, teaching and in my own personal practice.  I’ve had a lot of fun curating this month’s yoga sequence and playlist to direct our theme to Freedom, with poses like Star and Wheel, and songs like, “Break Free,” by Ariana Grande/Zedd and “Freedom” by Jon Baptiste.  It’s going to be celebratory, up-beat, and hopefully free-ing experience!  Come take a class, schedule here! 

Boundaries can Support Freedom

Sometimes, boundaries can assist us in experiencing Freedom.  I’m reminded of a time in our 20s, where Mark and I went out to eat all the time.  After a while, it stopped being special.  Oh and don’t get me started about how we moved in together before marriage. 7 YEARS LATER, he proposed. Ladies, hold out on the move, if you want your man to make a move.

I digress. Eating out – Later in life I realized, that If you allow yourself self-restraint of an indulgence, whatever it is, the eventual moment you partake, is much sweeter.  The Pandemic placed a boundary on Traveling, and you bet when I took our first trip back to one of my favorite places, San Francisco, I loved every minute of it.  I think Freedom is truly enjoyed when there are limits or boundaries to demonstrate the contrast. 

Brahmacharya

It turns out there exists a concept in Yoga called to support this – Brahmacharya.  There are several definitions and theories on the history and practice of Brahmacharya, some of which are fascinating if you feel like going down that rabbit hole, but I will paraphrase it as practicing moderation, or freeing yourself from the binds of excess or extravagance. 

Some sources like Swami Sivananda writes that the practitioner even gains energy,

“Practice of Brahmacharya gives good health, inner strength, peace of mind and long life.  It invigorates the mind and nerves.  It helps to conserve physical and mental energy.”

Let’s focus on the last sentence – Energy  – Amen!  I mean as a working mother of two, I could use a little more of that.  

Think of the trends over the past decade towards minimalism and de-cluttering and carbon neutral living.  Many are understanding the consequences of excess, addiction, and the desire for more.   However, I like the way this blogger puts it,

“(Brahmacharya) is not about completely denying yourself the things you love…it’s simply being aware of your choices and desires and figuring out when it is enough.” 

Or if you want a more modern-day analogy, this blogger writes,

“Sex in the City comes to mind. All those shoes that Carrie loved to buy… and the clothes… examples of not living in brahmacharya… Think about how much time and energy those women devote to their various obsessions and quests. Now think about what would happen if that time and energy were freed up and available for use in other things – like the spiritual journey.”

Um yes.  I can totally confess to overindulging in shopping and I’ll tackle that one day at a time.  I’m a work in progress here. 

I’m not a Yoga Guru (yet!) or a Philosopher (yet!) so I included a few links I found useful when I was researching the subject.  Please read on to learn more from others, further on in their Brahmacharya journey. 

30 Days of New Challenge

Returning to the Pandemic, I wish I could say I was among the handful of people that found peace during the lockdown.  These Godly souls are my role models for Brahmacharya – the excess of life was removed and they thrived.  They are perfect examples of humans coping with or even celebrating a season of Restriction.   I have since been trying to adopt these mindsets – taking satisfaction of the simple pleasure of being home with my family. 

But let’s be honest, you can bet I wasn’t thinking so positively during the Pandemic when everything was closed.  Instead, I made a list of all the places I wanted to go to when things opened up.  And when that day arrived, I challenged myself, to branch out a little.  To try new things, new experiences.  To go out of the way to support small businesses trying to stay afloat.  I took it one step further and urged myself to try One New Activity, every day for a month.  Because I like lists.  And goals. 

Now, I encourage you to make your list.  Summer is the perfect time to try new things.  The world is open, people! For now anyway (again, thank you Biden Administration for our vaccines – See I’m following my own advice, and seeking Gratitude amidst my frustration).

Utilize the longer sunlight hours to plan an evening outing.  If you’re going on a vacation, opt for a new restaurant or coffee shop instead of a chain.  Browse a boutique instead of ordering off Amazon. Whatever you do, I encourage you to seek gratitude in your outing, and reflect for a moment.  Celebrate this Season of Freedom. 

Final thoughts and the Ever Elusive Balance

These days, I try to find a balance.  And let’s repeat the word TRY.  I make the ambitious attempt to live out the concept of Brahmacharya and employ moderation, while enjoying the current open-ness of society.   Our weekends usually involve one morning family outing with a new experience, followed by a nap or rest, and an evening at home filled with cooking or projects or on-the-floor play time with the kids.  I no longer attempt to do everything and go everywhere.  I push aside the feeling of FOMO and not exposing my children to all the activities available.  I resist the urge to make plans with everyone I know.  It’s a constant struggle not to book a blank space in my calendar but I am evolving, and seeing progress.  

I’d love to know your thoughts!  What season are you in?  Freedom or Restriction?  How can you celebrate or find comfort in either?  What are your summer plans?  Comment, text, or DM me  – And have a wonderful July!